we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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