When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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