I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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