I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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