it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
