now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
