I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
