just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
