Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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