Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
