I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
