wat bout pragnant strippers??
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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