38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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