Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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