whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
high people should be assigned attendants
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
