We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
