We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
