i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
