My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
