He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
