can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
