you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
