Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
