addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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