i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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