How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
