clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have feelings that need drinking.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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