found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This is my gift to your gina
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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