She announced her abortion via fbk
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
