We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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