So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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