I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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