bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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