no you cant smoke seaweed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
