She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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