So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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