Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize