community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
