i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
