I got chris browned last night
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
