i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
