I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
