I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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