my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize