who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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