Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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