I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
