Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
