i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
