I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
