Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.