there was a trapeze. enough said
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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