Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
