Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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