She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
