U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
