I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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