im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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