i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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