just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
