I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
