my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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